Confused

Soul arrived - I arrived. But somehow it is still a world inbetween. My world. Which is not yet connected to anybody elses.
Scrapping wallpaper off the walls, closing holes in the wall and all these other things I dont yet know the English words for. Renovating. Working with my hands. Not thinking. Not reflecting.
This will all start soon enough again.
This summer is definetly better than last summer. I am still alive.
And a lot of new plans, new ideas. Things I would like to be different. Things I would like to improve. Stay focused.
There is so much going on inside me. I dont even know where to start. What to do first. It seems like there is nothing. I am aware, at least most of the time, that I cant just start changing all these things I would like to be different.
Ah, I think there is the point. Not changing. Accepting. Of course than again, there is a thin line between accept the things you cant change, and have the courage to change those things you can change.
Already my sentence for the Rueckenwind Project.
I have the feeling I am not able to be with someone else at the moment. I am not able to receive or digest any new informations. I feel numb. But alive. And actually quite motivated and happy.
Who knows. I dont. I will just keep that feeling. I dont know.